Taibi Kahler makes it clear that there is only communication where we are in a + / + communication posture.
As soon as we begin to condition our value or the value of our interlocutor, we enter into communication under distress.
PCM® gives us observable indicators to identify it.
According to PCM®, a person’s personality structure is made up of six personality types.
Each type has specific needs, and speaks a different “language”. In each person, there are one or two types that condition most of their reactions.
Thanks to Taibi Kahler, founder of the model, we also discover how our communication is altered when we are under distress, which signals to detect and how to react.
- We will understand how we communicate, how we get motivated and how we get under distress.
- We will discover how to act.
- We will learn how to communicate efficiently.
And we will train to make it a real competence.
In order to trust us and collaborate, the horse needs us to be assertive (“I respect myself”) and to respect him, to be clear and demanding without ever adopting a posture of domination. It is an instant revealer of the + / + posture.
The horse questions us where we need it and helps us to respond. Genetically programmed to decipher attitudes as signs of communication, the horse invites us to drop our masks.
On an individual level, the experience of coaching with horses will reinforce self-awareness: the horse provides us with a scan of our position, with our strengths and our points to develop or improve. And it will help us to reinforce our self-esteem and our assertiveness.
At a collective level, the horse will highlight the dysfunctions of the team: lack of cohesion, of communication, of trust… The experience opens a space for exchange between team members to share feedback and reflect on their positions: to what extent and how do they facilitate or hinder collaboration. Team cohesion is clearly reinforced by sharing an emotionally impacting experience and reinforcing cooperative intelligence.
The role of the mediator is to help the two parties to adopt a + /+ posture, which implies that they return to mutual respect and accept that the other may have another perception of the situation, other needs, as valid as their own.
From there, the mediator will be able to encourage the parties to find a solution that will allow them to break the deadlock and get our of the tense situation.
- Establishing o re-establishing the relationship and communication between people.
- Encouraging creativity to find a solution, inviting to go out of the framework.
- Co-constructing the solution to get out of the conflict. What is more powerful than confrontation or bargaining is to be creative to design a satisfactory solution for both.
Are you somebody’s Savior, Persecutor or Victim?
- The Victim: They feel inferior, powerless and irresponsible. They expect someone to come to relieve their discomfort, to solve their problems for them… they are looking for a Savior or a Persecutor.
- The Savior: They do what they can to make themselves indispensable, they fly to help others, usually without being asked to do so… they do what they can to make themselves indispensable. And boom! One morning the Savior gets tired of so many people taking advantage of them and can become a Victim (“poor me, they don’t see how good I am”) or a Persecutor (“You don’t thank me for how good I am? You’re going to find out!”).
- The Persecutor: Needs a Victim to humiliate, attack or belittle. Accuses, needs to punish or reproach, uses the weaknesses of others to expose them.
With any of the 3 roles of the triangle that we adopt: Victim, Persecutor, Savior, we will be in a position of life + / – or – / + .
Stephen B. Karpman (American psychologist) developed a model for the analysis of psychological games.
These Psychological Games often contaminate our lives and work relationships. We “play” with our partner, with our friends, with a colleague, with our boss, with our collaborator, etc… And nothing really good can come out of this.
S. Karpman will explain how to move from the Dramatic Triangle to the compassionate Triangle in order to return to positive and constructive relationships.
How does co-development work?
A group of people are brought together in collective development sessions.
During each session, one of the people will be the client of the session and the others will act as consultants, working on his issue thanks to a very powerful collective intelligence process.
At the end of the session, the client will build an action plan that they will implement in the inter-session time.
What does Co-Development bring?
Finding solutions to a priori impossible situations, thanks to the contributions of others.
Go faster and further, seeing other ways to solve a problem.
Share the know-how of others.